Choices

I would like to take a fresh moment to look at this amazing body above.  In all honesty, this COULD be me, she seems to have the same body type as I, and as I get leaner my midsection looks similiar to her.  This makes me happy!

So the month of March was a bit of a struggle for myself.  I debated back and forth on whether or not I was ready for this show in April.  I kept telling people that maybe I shouldn't do it, that I wasn't going to feel confident, that maybe I should post pone and with my best interests in mind they would tell me to keep pushing forward, drink water and drive on, and never give up.  I am not saying I gave up but what I am saying is that I finally decided to un-cloud my brain with everyone else's suggestions and go with my heart and my gut. My gut was telling me to pick another show.  It was one of the hardest decisions I EVER had to make.  It felt like I was quitting, it felt like I was going through a panic attack at work while I was on the phone with my trainer balling my eyes out.  My dream is to be a winning competitor and bikini model and I felt like turning away from this show would be turning away from my dreams.  I realize now that this isn't true.  Although this was the toughest decision I ever had to make I know it was the smartest.  

What wasn't the smartest thing was the foods I choose to eat after I made that concrete decision, let;s just say dressing up to go downtown led me to throwing on some jeans, over the knee boots and a Sabres jersey (which by the way got more attention than some of the chics that were half naked).  What can I say, I come from a city where we love our sports teams regardless of how we know they will never win any major titles.  ANYWAYS...I got a big slap in the face of what it feels like to be a glutton.  I do not like this Talia.  This is not the Talia I want to carry around, she sucks.  So I am going to make her better damn it and I am going to come out of this even better!

I need to get myself mentally and physically ready.  I need to learn the importance of eating healthy and choosing healthy foods and the reasons why.  Things I already know but never really think about...

HAPPY APRIL FIRST! Love the fact that it's a new month!!